Expectations

In the Bible we are told we can expect goodness, and we know we can have that expectation because God keeps His promises. However, we know that no matter how many times we proclaim our faith and declare God’s word in our lives, if we do not direct our movements to do His will we will find ourselves frustrated and unfulfilled. In today’s Whole Health Newsletter we have two articles that breakdown the psychology of expectations and introduce us to the habenula (the brain’s disappointment center). If you want to learn more about the four aspects of health in a way that is informative but not overwhelming, subscribe to the Whole Health Newsletter. You can expect articles posted to the website (like this one) along with other resources and products pertaining to their respective category in your inbox every Saturday!

There was a time in my life where many health symptoms surfaced that were not life threatening but were definitely hindering. I had trouble sleeping, lacked motivation and energy, and found everything hard to do. Just the thought of making salad or going for a walk made me want to cry. Many would say I was depressed. Because other health factors present themselves as depression, my doctor suggested we undergo a series of testing that included lab work.

One day I was scheduled for lab work and planned to visit a friend who had recently given birth. My state of being had me struggling, and honestly failing, in many areas. Planning, preparing and managing anything was super messy. I barely made it to my appointment and I forgot to pack something to eat for my kids and I. In a rush I drove through Sonic and only ordered the minimum knowing eating out was not in the budget. Upon arriving to my friend’s house I realized I had nothing to offer her, no card or meal or gift for the baby. It was my hope that my presence would be enough.

She was very welcoming and happy to see me. The kids sat at her table to finish their lunch while I caught up with her and held the baby. I thought things were going well. Our visit was short because she had somewhere to go, and as we packed up she surprised me. She opened her fridge, took out a piece of deli meat, and said “If you don’t have any expectations you won’t have any disappointments.” She then ate the piece of meat, gathered her things and proceeded to walk out the door with me. I was confused for quite a while, and wondered if she expected me to bring her something to eat, knowing I had to stop for food before arriving to her house, and was disappointed that I did not.

This happened several years ago, and her words stuck with me. Is it true that one can avoid disappointments by having no expectations? Are people even capable of that? What I’ve learned since then and through the articles included in today’s mental health aspect of the Whole Health Newsletter is this: people will always have a degree of expectation whether subconsciously or intentionally, and disappointment ignites a physical part of our body (the habenula) that has a negative impact on our mental health. So yes, if we cannot manage our expectations, we need to counsel them.

Loretta